Eggs are veg or nonveg - Mystery solved

Personal blog of IfuM

"Chicken eggs are vegetarian!" It is important that we do not misconstrue this thought here.

Educational visits are arranged to teach us many things, but we may learn something different from what was expected. And thats why I say "Never miss an educational visit, no matter how boring it is; because the trip isn't boring, its you who decides how boring it is going to be."

Now coming back to what I was telling you. Chicken eggs are used to cultivate viruses and we learnt this on an educational visit to Bombay Veterinary college. But what I learnt that eggs which we eat do not contain embryo.

Yes its true. After reading and research I found out that chicken can lay eggs with and WITHOUT mating with a rooster. The ones which do not mate produce unfertilized eggs which do not contain embryos.

So what is a vegetarian egg?
The eggs which we eat contain only egg yolk(a part of an egg which feeds the developing embryo) and the egg white(albumin) and no embryo. You are not eating any living thing per se you are eating only the proteins.

At first I used to think that people who say egg is veg are stupid, well they are not. I personally think that egg which we eat is also called 'table egg' which is veg.

We have all had the experience of thoughts or ideas occurring to us spontaneously rather than as a result of conscious deliberation and so with my knowledge I can say that table egg is veg! Give it a thought let me know what you think in the comment section below. Still the debate continues...

Tips on writing a CV for jobs or admissions for academic purposes.

Do you breathe air?, mention it, how many arms do you have? legs? Maybe eyes? Do you know how to use a toilet? Mention all these things and soon your CV will be filled.
P.S. The (mean) average human has 1.99 legs, having 2 shows your super-human like qualities.

Don't be shy about your criminal past. You could even make things up such as you're a drug dealer, been arrested for oppression or even murder. Things like this will make them think you're really cool and want to meet you.

Some good categories to include are: drugs used, sexual partners, arrests and crimes not prosecuted for, prejudices, religious feelings, political views, fetishes, favorite dirty joke, and list your darkest secret for good measure.

**Hope it helps !

-IfuM

Struggling with work recently and looking for a career change - OLRPHTips

#OLRPHTips on struggling with work recently and looking for a career change?

You should try being a hired assassin. Good pay, fun international travel and an exciting lifestyle with ladies and gentlemen all around the world willing to do your bidding, sexual or otherwise. When you retire you can write a book, and maybe star in a movie.

**Hope it helped.

-IfuM

TV shows watch Bucket List

Two and a Half Men - Till season 8

Breaking Bad - Completed watching

Dexter - Completed watching

The Big Bang Theory - Currently watching S8

How I Met Your Mother - Completed watching

House - Completed watching

Naruto - Currently watching

Death Note -  Completed watching

90210 -  Till season 3

Prison Break - Completed watching

#OLRPHTips

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/693597693997868

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https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/693769490647355

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https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/692988274058810

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/692407817450189

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/692475930776711

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/692404160783888

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/692423427448628

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/697573380266966

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/696969333660704

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/694789913878646

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/699776890046615

https://www.facebook.com/OLRPHT/posts/700199720004332

Its hilarious watching people get your name wrong

I told the cashier my name twice with spelling and yet he gave me receipt my the name 'mr nusattal' #pic4proof pic.twitter.com/3FVAYLv7K7
— Mufaddal Dewaswala (@IfuM52) November 1, 2013

Walter White's car season 5 - Added on my 'Dream Car' list

Walter White gets himself a Chrysler 300 srt8 car in season 5 (episode 4) by selling his old car for just $50. I fell in love with this car the first time I saw it. Now its on my list of dream cars.

Here's a pic:

eyy guys - batman is a vampire

eyy guys,
i needs ur halp !

so i wus wit frand da oder dae, n v wer wakling on da stret
den he asked mi abut batmun

den i sed batmun is vampire
he sed no he ez not, den i explained him my theori

see first of all batmun is a bat
and vampires r bat too

bat drunks blood, so batmun must too
and vam-pei-year wears balck cloth and so does batmun.

n dis way i prove him dat batman is an vampire !
he ez stil not convinced

i need moar similaries to make my point dat batmun is vampire
post some of ur own points in cumments

(c) IfuMBlog 2013

PewDiePie - Why is Felix 'PewDiePie' Kjellberg on my list of inspirational people?

PewDiePie for other people maybe just a simple youtuber who records himself playing video games but for me he is a comedian who displays just a video game in a form of a movie.

______________________________________________

List of crazily awesome things about him, from MY point of view:

Epic jokes - Jokes is one thing which I really love, and Felix's jokes never fail to make me laugh. He can also crack the most inappropriate joke and still make it sound cool.

Talks to non-living objects - I just love this quality of him, where he names and talks to a non-living object which can be anything like a barrel, ball, rock, painting etc. And each object has its own different personality.

Raised charity - He did a online campaign for 'Charity Water' where the goal was $250,000 and he raised $450,000.

Crazy love story - His love story is quite crazy about how he met an online girl and how he flew across countries (From Sweden to Italy) and met her.

Won Guinness world record - I am jealous !

He can touch his nose with his tongue - (No words.)

______________________________________________

eyy guys - fix me a sandwich - people take you for granted

eyy guys,
i wants 2 tel u aal tht ppl tak u 4 granted

so me wus at a frnds place
we aal wer playing on exbox 360 and bs3

ma frnd thn told me 2 'fix a sandwich'
n i wus lyk 'ok'

so i went to the kitchen, there was no sandwich
fuhget sandwich i didnt even fynd sand nor witch

so me told ma friend 'where is the sandwich?'
he wus confused at 1st then i told him again

'dude, if u want me to fix ur broken sandwich, atleast tell me wer it is'
he wus angry and left

ppl these days, try 2 halp dem n dey take you for granted...
lyk/share if u thinks publics take u for granted too

#IfuM

List of books I have read

 Last Updated- 3rd August '14

Currently Reading:

Keys to Success - Jim Rohn
The Charge - Brendon Buchard

List of books I have read

Fifty shades of Grey - E L James
Fifty shades Darker - E L James

Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins

Rich Dad, Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki 

Not Another Self-help Book - Dr David Fong 

Let it be easy - Tolly Burkan
 


 Books I have tried reading, but didnt complete it till the end.

Many Lives, Many Masters - Dr. Brian Weiss [Read half the book]
Ideas that changed the world - Felipe Fernández-Armesto [Read half the book]
The Diary of Anne Frank - Anne Frank [Read 5-6 pages]
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald [Read 2 pages]
Tell me your dreams - Sidney Sheldon [Read till chapter 9]
The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown [First few pages]
American Psycho - Bret Easton Ellis [First few pages]

Train photoshop

Just a cover page design for a short indie movie.

eyy guys - the big bang theory

eyy guys,
so me wants 2 shar experience today

so me ws at a parti
it wus a casual party and fud was not gud

ma frnds wer taking about big bang theory
so i thught let me enter this coversashun

so id  went ther n told dem, 'isnt shell don copper da best?'
n ppl didnt knw who shell don copper wus.

in fact dey didnt knw who was penni, raj or harword.
dey is sadness publics!

dey thunk i am nt kool for knwing da real theory
wot du yu guys think?

© IfuMBlog

Pendrive cleaning didnt remove any viruses

My microbiology department has a number of microorganisms stored for experimental and academic practical purposes. However, we as microbiologist haven't compromised on any level, our computers have lots of viruses stored in them as well. Zing!

I dont usually carry a pendrive to college but for my presentations I have been carrying one. I just keep the pendrive in my back pocket in my jeans. So 1 week back, I came home from college and after changing clothes I dumped my jeans in the washing machine.

The next day I couldnt find my pendrive. I searched for long but couldn't find it. Finally I remembered it was in my pocket of my jeans. It turns out that I took my wallet, keys and handkerchief out of my jeans but forgot to take out my pendrive.

So then I checked my washing machine and found no clothes there. I asked my mom and she said she washed them.

So I checked my wet jeans and I found my pendrive in my back pocket, thanks to my washing power it had a shine on it now. I kept my pendrive in the sun for drying, after a few hours I plugged it in my computer. And it was working, surprisingly the water and the abrasive laundry detergent powder didnt do any damage to my pendrive.

But I still wouldn't recommend anyone to wash pendrive this way.

I would like to thank the people who read my blog - funny

Dark humor jokes blog - My embarrassing/funny experience

Okay, so first of all, I would like to tell you what is a dark humor joke...

In the most simplest terms: its a joke on a sensitive topic, such as cancer, death, babies, rape etc.

Now people don't like them because of OBVIOUS reasons. I like reading them, not in an psychopathic kind of way, but I like reading and knowing/understanding the humor behind the joke. Humor is always been my thing and I love exploring different types of humor in any kind of joke; whether lame, stupid, jokes etc.

So let me share some examples of dark humor jokes with you.

Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHYYYY!!??". Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just messing with you, it was born dead".

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared"
Man: "how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone"

Okay, I know some of them are quite messed up and you maybe really feeling bad these kind of jokes. But some of you really liked them and want to read and crack more of these.

Now...

If you didnt like them then: dont read more of them, it will only make you feel that people are cruel and give you a negative view of the world we live in.

If you liked them...

Dark humor jokes are jokes and JUST JOKES ONLY. They are not meant to harm or hurt someone, although they indirectly they do.

NEVER crack a dark humor joke in public -

People will literally hate you and think you are a bad person even if you are not.

Now I would like to share an embarrassing/funny experience with you:

Once I was giving a presentation on 'Nerve cells', I was giving the presentation well and good. After a first few slides the topic got boring and to make things more interesting I showed them a picture of a 2 year old baby who was born without a brain. And I said the following words without thinking -
"This is a baby born without a brain, its more like a vegetable."

The 2 teachers were in shock, and the classmates were like 'WTF, did he just say?' - and there I was just standing awkwardly. Instantly, in my defense I said that, "I didnt say it, it was written by some cruel guy on the internet from where I got this picture."
After that I finished my presentation, went to my place and didnt say a word for a very long time.

NEVER crack a dark humor joke in public, EVER !

eyy guys - RIP ENGLISH

eyy guys,
i wants 2 talk abuot immortal gai.

dis guy ezz dead n alive again and again
aftur each of mai post this guy ceeps deathing

after my everypost ppl be comment RIP english
how can this person named english die again and again?

if he really ded then his soul be resting in peice long times ago
dont you thunk?

is he immortal or wat?
and i think dictationary is his close relative.

-IfuM
Copyright 2013 (c) IfuMBlog

eyy guys - home delivery

eyy guys,
i am not understand inturnet.

so the oder dae i wus online on shopping website,
and den i select 2 awesome clothes and a pear of shoes.

i was dune wit the shoping
i wanted them to dilevery this stuff at my house.

but i cannot find the option,
i can only see the home dilevery option, but i havent ordered any home.

where is the clothes and shoes dilevery option?
i mean website is so stupid it doesnt even sell homes still it has home dilevery option.

stupid shopping website.

-IfuM
Copyright (c) IfuMBlog 2013

HINDependence day

So this thought randomly came to my mind - Wouldn't it be cool if we started  calling 'Independence day of India' as HINDependence day, just saying.

Wouldn't it be cool if we started calling 'Independence day of India' as HINDependence day, just saying. #IfuMThoughts
— IfuM of OLRPHT (@IfuM52) August 15, 2013

Tags: HINDependence day

Something which I wrote for Independence day 2013

A small tweet with many feelings and many ideas (:

Being born free, I will not know: feel of pain under a foreign rule or the need for freedom. Thanks to all those who fought for us.HID #IfuM
— IfuM of OLRPHT (@IfuM52) August 14, 2013

My first encounter with a Praying Mantis

Saw a Praying Mantis at my college, and I immediately took a pic of it. I was amazed that they actually existed in India lol.

You must be wondering why is it such a big deal to see a Praying Mantis in real life? Let me share some facts with you.

Few facts about the Praying Mantis:

- During mating the female partner eats the male partner(most of the times). First eats its head then devours its body.

The male Praying Mantis, doesnt just lose its virginity, it also loses its life (by getting eaten alive by its female partner lol) #IfuMBlog
— IfuM of OLRPHT (@IfuM52) August 10, 2013

- The Praying Mantis has 5 eyes. 2 big ones and 3 small ones between its big eyes.

- Its named 'Praying Mantis' because it is a theist and it believes in god and also prays all day long. No that's not true, its named because of its physical appearance.

My friend and I also tried to capture it and pet it in our lab, but it ran away. Here is a video of it:

  So you learned about 'Sexual cannibalism' today. I wonder why do I always give my readers weird things to read?
Anyways thanks for reading, leave a like, a comment and some awesomeness.

V for Vendetta or V for viagra? (Fun on twitter)

@Not_So_Humerus wat da hell, why are you taking viagra? its men's stuff you know...
— IfuM of OLRPHT (@IfuM52) August 9, 2013

She actually meant 'V for Vendetta' (:

How to deal with people who reply K

How to deal with people who reply K:

So the people who reply with the letter 'K' should be punished. Not by execution but by just simply insulting them.

How to resuscitate and kill an already murdered conversation:

 

Martix 4 - double reloaded Indian version

Can you be recognised by your chat style?

Chatting, is now one of the most common ways of communicating with each other. I usually dont call anyone, I just send them a message via my phone (unless its really important.) So yes, chat is extremely common, and we all have made our own style of texting, chatting with other people. We all have developed our own language when it comes to chatting.

Can you be recognized by your chat style? While being anonymous of course. Well I would like to share an anecdote with just 2 images...

So to surprise one of my friends, I asked a question while being anonymous. And the reply which I got was this...

Sorry some parts of the image are blacked-out :P

And then as you can see the reply starts with my name... So I thought of asking the person how was I recognized, even after being anonymous?

So I did and this is the reply I got...

  

Just one inverse smiley of mine made someone recognize who I was. So the answer is YES, you can be recognized by your own unique chat style. Its like being recognized by your voice.

Try this once, chat with someone (whom you chat with everyday), with someone else's account/phone and check out if they can recognize you through your chat. Its a fun activity if you are jobless and want to kill some time.

Do you use certain symbols/style in you chat very occasionally? Like my inverse smiley... 

Friends fail to understand a 'double negative' on friendship day

So many of my friends wished me 'happy friendship day' on Whatsapp. And well, I was gonna just type 's2u' and move on with my life, but I chose to be over smart, stupid me. And I did this...

What I really meant -

No sad friend(ship) day

No sad = happy

What my friends thought I meant -

Friend: Happy friendship day dude

Me: No, sad friendship day ):

After this incident I felt stupid that I wrote that. Later, I messaged each and every person "no sad = happy", sometimes chats get really awkward...

Anyways Happy friendship day to all, have fun.

[Edited: 9th Aug 2013]

eyy guys - risks of online shopping

eyy guys,
i wants 2 give u a online advice.

so 1 fine day, i wus shopping in shop.
and one of ma frnd say 'dude y u no bye stuf online'.


so i said okay y not (big mistake of ma lyf)
so i went to an computar n ordered maself a bone plate.

aftur 3 days 2nights ma package finally came.
now guess wat? da bone plate was made out uf plastic n not bone.

stupid websites stole my cash.
so pepal dnt bye stuff online unles completely legit.

i hope u learning something with this posted. good buy.

‪#‎IfuM‬
Copyright (c) IfuM 2013  

 

eyy guys - why dont lice live in beard

eyy guys,
so me wuz at byology clas da odar dae.

and techur asked questun -
y lice and oder parasites of head dont live in beard?

so aal publics of ma class answerd
things liek: there is no scalp, n conditions r nt favorable etc

but i thought liek shake sphere n Isaac Oldton (coz he is nt new anymor)
and said da answur wit ful canfidance, laudly i said

'they will fall due to gravity, dats y dey dont live in beards'
teachur n class both mind blow.

#IfuM
Copyright (c) IfuM

Feels of a content creator at humor page on Facebook

In this blog, I would like to share not only mine, but every content creator's feels (I know that feel bro) who has uploaded funny pics on a Facebook page - because I know some of them personally.

Motto? - Everyone has a different motto to why they are being a content creator, giving away precious time uploading a few funny pictures for laughter of some one else. The motto is simple at first, its fame, don't judge, you would do the same. Let me just put it as 'recognition by others on the internet.'

We want to be recognized as people who can make people laugh, by sharing funny pictures. Most of us post pictures which are made by others(just lying somewhere between internet and space) and sharing them in front of a huge fanbase.

The funny thing is, we get happy when we get likes and shares on a photo we have just shared. And at the same time an offensive comment toward that pic will make us angry and sad. The photo was never our creation, but we shared it, that's a feeling. That's a feeling of a content creator, we are judged and we judge ourselves by our upload choices, and for each photo we are very protective.

But in the end it is a fun job, the part where you can put up your own creative/cool/sarcastic caption also delivers the joke and humor with more efficiency. The whole process of uploading a picture and then getting comments on it, the increasing number of shares, comments... feels are amazing.

If you are a content creator at humor page on Facebook you can surely relate to this, in some or another way! (:

-IfuM

Copycat emotions - IfuM

Something I made just out of boredom, but the message is true - emotions really are copied by your surroundings.

eyy guys - impact of internet in our lives.

eyy guys,
me wants 2 shar exp of life.

internet and its pawer to change publics life.
hou inturnet changed 2 lives, 1 atheist and 1 theist

der was no inturnet 4 5 days in both condition
the theist and atheist wer very sad, day and nite dey were sad, sad, sad.

so on 6th dae atheist looked up and told 'if u xist then giv me inturnet'
and thesist told 'plz i wants inturnet.'

on da same day inturnet came for atheist
but not for thesist

and so today the atheist ez theist n theist is athiest.
both changd religun due 2 inturnet.
dat is da power of internut.

-IfuM
Copyright (c) IfuM2013

eyy guys - wizards install softwares

eyy guys,
i finally find out y wizards r so rich

hairy potter, dumble door  n volemoth; how is they so reech?
de ans ez simple, dey aal works 4 microsuft.

whenevur we instal suftware
it ofen says, "a wizard wil install ur software"

microsuft pays dem for installing softwares
i find it sad that dey havent shown dis part of their work in the movies and books

anyways its okay, now you know.

#IfuM
Copyright (c) IfuM 2013

eyy guys - water is blue, sky is blue

eyy guys,
omgz government is cheater!

i saw the sea and rivur today, the water there is blue in colur
i also checked up piks on inturnet of sea and rivers, guess wht, its BLUE

guys our govrenment ppls are cheating us
watur is blue in natural form but dey are sending us transparent watur in our homes

we need protest, we need a movemnt, we need equality
watur shud nt be transparent it shud b blue

sumdae dey will even take colur off the skies
and we no see blue sky anymore

share post to create awareness amungst aal ppls

#IfuM
Copyright 2013 IfuM

eyy guys - best cat poem ever

eyy guys,
i haz 2 share a peom, etz very deep. as deep as jonny deep
hear it goes.

I LOU CATS

i lou cats,
coz dey dont wear hatz.

colur: wite blak broun,
dey r in evry town.

u save cat, cat save u,
bcoz rats caz plague,cats stop plague.

tiger r cat, lion was cat,
leopard ezz cat, panthur wil b cat
so many cat, dis world is cat

itz writen by ma frnd name 'Nice Teop'


#IfuM 
Copyright 2013 IfuM

The origin of 'eyy guys'

It all started with this post, when I first read it on the internet...

"A gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode
she sed “bbz will u luv me 4evr”
he said “NO..”“
da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine.
boy was cryin and went to pic up her body.
she was ded.
he whispered 2 her corpse “I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever…” (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr)
…reblog dis if u cry evry time…"

And I loved this post because it resembles both stupidity and sarcasm. And these kind of jokes are my type. I like listening to and cracking these type of jokes in a badinage. 'eyy guys' posts are a combination of absolute stupidity with ballast bad grammar and spelling mistakes which makes the reader realize that the joke is a product complete sarcasm and stupidity. The style of writing - the messed up language is adopted from 'Dolan comics'.

I started writing these posts and shared them on my page, the first 'eyy guys' post which I did got hardly 30 likes on a reach of 15,000 audience, the conclusion which I drew from this was - the people who like these kind of jokes and who have a similar way of thinking (when it comes to this kind of humor) are very few. I kept on writing to please the few people who enjoy these kind of jokes.
On the 17th 'eyy guys' post I finally got 100+ likes.

But however, people see this as an atrocity done to the English language and they usually start commenting things like 'RIP English' or 'y do do dis?' but these comments dont bother me at all, the funny part here is that the some people get annoyed at these comments more than I do. It does not bother me because I feel that the people who really understand the humor and message of the joke will laugh and be happy while others will detest it no matter what. Jokes are similar to music with respect to people liking it, some people like metal and some dont, same way some people like these kind of jokes and some dont.

I feel that the joke should not hurt anyone or attack anyone/any group, if it does then it's not a joke, its just a verbal barb with an intention to make someone laugh. -Off topic comment
 
I wanted to say thank you to all those people who support 'eyy guys' post. I will keep posting more anyway, have fun.

eyy guys - why racism is completely stupid?

eyy guys,
me wants 2 pass a messgae to yall

wats up wit dis racial colur discrimination?
sum ppl have skin colur wite, while oders hav blak?

first of all; wite isnt a color and nor ez black
as we taught in skool, physiks, wite is combination of all colurs and blak ez absence of aal colurs.

so hw can ppl discriminate on basis of colur (as wite and blak r nt colurs...)

and doz publics who do rascism are just stupid.
so plz ppls dunt do racism, cuz jokes on U, as wite and black r nt colurs

pazz on messge so ppl who du racism know thier stupidity.

#IfuM
Copyright (c) IfuM 2013

eyy guys - drinking at 18

eyy guys,
i wants 2 share most cruel thing wit u.

so me was on fb the oda dae
and i see a status 'now i am 18 years, i can finally start drinking'

omgz guise, how did he survives with out drinking water?
maybe he haz to eat water's odher form ice
his parents maybe giving him ice 4 18 years, as ice ez solid n u can only ate it

dis is cruelty, image not drinking watur for 18 ears
plz share dis messgae wit all and stop dis cruelty

god blass aal publics

#IfuM
Copyright (c) IfuM 2013

eyy guys - delete sent emails

eyy guys,
need ur halp guise and gals.

i had send an email to a friends bymistake.
it ez video aboat a ship sinking in sea.
no its not the video of titanic, its just normal video of a ship sinking in sea.

after i sends the video i feel that it a very cruel weedeo.
ppl may have drown in the sea its cruel and i dont waant my frnds to see sad stuff, it maybe funny but it sad.
so i dont want her to watch it.

how i delete it? i has send t now i want to delete it.
hw can i do it? plz halp me.

-IfuM
Copyright 2013 IfuM

eyy guys - diabeties sweet dreams

eyy guys,
i wants to share peas of info dis tym.

ok so as yall knw ppl got diabeties.
its disease when ppl eat suger dey dies.

so dis is a global messaeg to all peopal who r reading dis.

if you are wishing ppl 'gud night' then dnt wish them sweet dreams.
coz diabetic ppl may die due to the 'sweet' dreams.


i hope you understund the gravity of dis situation
just paas dis message halp the world. it will be a better palace

#IfuM
Copyright 2013 IfuM

eyy guys - break a leg

eyy guys,

i wants 2 question u today.
do docturs really break legs in heart surgery?

so da oder dae me was at hostpetal
and i saw 2 docs talking,
and one doc say "i have 2do a hart surgery todae"
and the other doc said "break a leg"

I is really confused, wat is relation of hart wit legs?

however i think there ez sum connections between heart and legs, as when a people gets hart attack he cannot run, hmmmm moar research ni-ded.

#IfuM
[Copyright IfuM 2013]

eyy guys - last horclux

eyy guys,

omgz! its disaster.
dis ez urgent message 2 all.

dis is normal smiley - :-)
dis is voldemoth smiley - :)

dey say acc to legend his last horclux is the smiley face ':)' n voldemoth may cum back to life, if moar then 100,000k smileys exist on internet.
so plz guise use :-) instead of :)

dis wil be great halp to hairy potter.

#IfuM
(c) Copyright IfuM 2013

eyy guys - mating mates mate

eyy guys.
me ez back.

i has weird experience.
v hav a new guy in my class, everyone likes him.

but... how cum my frnds dont know he ez gay.
da proof is dat he keeps callin everybody(who is boy) 'mate'

i watches enough discovery channel to know dat mating is an sexual term used by scientists.
he call every1 mate, dont yall think he is gay?

i hopes my frands get 2 know da truth soon enuff

#IfuM

eyy guys - white tigers

eyy guys.
I wants to share info abt animal cruelty.

ppl r so cruel. they taking tigers and den using bleach on dem and making dem white.
and then telling they r wite tigers. how can dey do dis to tat poor tigur

y do dey do dis? for muney

next times please say ppl dont use bleach to make orangue tigurs white.

god watches all thes cruel publics, he wil punish dem.

#IfuM [copyright 2013]

eyy guys - I guess women and seamen don't mix

eyy guys.

So ma frnd becrazy, he tires to impress a navy girl one times.

1 tiem he went to da gurl n said "hi u r cute, wud u like too check out my DECK?"
She thinking something ez FISHY here, so she gave him a confused luk.

Tehn my frnd replied "WATER you thinking?"
she said "sory I cant go."

my frnd said "are you SHORE? lets get HOOKED"
den she said "I hav bf, I cant SEA anyone else."

she also said "I guess women and seamen don't mix."
den my frnd tell "BEACHES be crazy" and left.


#IfuM

[Copyright 2013]

eyy guys - why do i get bad grades, chain messages funny

eyy guys.
i wants 2 shar exp. wit yall

ma class teacher angriedly shouted on me and told me why didnt u get gud mark in xam?
me said 'teacher itz not ma fault, at day of the xam sum1 sent message to me n said 'if u dont forward this message to 20ppl, u wil hav bad luck 4 dis week.'

i forwarded it to 20 people but one of my frnd phone is switch offed so he didnt recieve message.
and due to bad lucks i gets bad marks.

she said 'okayz, next time forward it to moar people to avoid dis.'

gg

#IfuM

eyy guys - exam hall ticket problem

eyy guys.
i wants 2 shar exp. wit yall

so i wuz at xam hall yestarday.
and dis gurl in my class named 'Mary' forget her hall ticket.

so she argue with the ppl at xam centre as dey dont believe that she is the real Mary, 'dis ez xam we need identity proof' dey said
den i was liek lets solve this prob.

so vent to her and xam center people, and said dis is my laptop, if Mary can login to her fb accnt then she ez real Mary.
So den Mary signed in wit her account n also checked her notifications
dis way she proved that she is real Mary.

i m genius. they telled me 'thank you'

#IfuM

eyy guys - colon cancer deaths

eyy guys.
omgz; me just heard da most tereble thing; deaths due 2 colon cancer r increasing!

i wants to give peice of advice

u all 2 use minimum no of " : " in your eassy, assignments n luv letters.
da least number of colons, less number of ppl die cause due to colon cancer

use semi-colon; its has no reported cases of cancer yet.

pls share messge it will save lots of lives. love you lodes.

#IfuM

eyy guys - Causes of cancer - funny

eyy guys.
me finally got selected 4 cancer research at Harwarford school of medisine.

dey askin so simple questions, so not hard to not fail test.

dey asked 'wht ez the most common cause of cancer?'

people told things liek - uncontorlled cell division and caricongen stuf like dat.

i reply with full confidence 'by reading bad posts on facebook'

dey telled me 'our mind blow, you join tomorrow'

#IfuM

(c) Copyright IfuM 2013

eyy guys - what makes your hair smooth and silky

eyy guys. i wants to share a experience wit yall
it was an very awkward exp.

so i hav dis frnd named 'Ory Mem', she has a memory probs.

1 fine day i say her 'hies Ory, how ez your hair so much smooth and silky?'
she reply 'i cant remem it [coz she has memory prob]'
then she say it is white and sticky.

den i awkwardly replied 'okay...'

then she say "it starts with letter 's'... its white and sticky starts with letter 's', do u hav any idea wat it may be?"

i knoe da ans, but i till say 'i dont know'

den she say 'oh now i remember, i use shampoo'

oh silly me...

(c) Copyright 2013 IfuM

eyy guys - any key in games

eyy guys,
i kneed ur help in finding da 'any' key...

me installed a new game n it says "press any key to continue and press 'c' to cancel"
me pressed C coz me cant find the "any key"
Halp me plez.

if you halp me godz wil halp you, promise
 #IfuM

(c) Copyright IfuM 2013

eyy guys - nuff said meaning

eyy guys,
i m just share experience wit yall

oky so sum ppl be posting stuff and then after tat dey adding 'nuff said'
I mean who ez dis nuff guy? he iz soo popular. how cum i dont heard of dis guy before.
aftr each and evry line ppl sayin 'nuff said'

wow dis nuff guy is gr8 he is a star. nuff said.
#IfuM

 

 (c) Copyright IfuM 2013

 

eyy guys - criminal case game facebook

eyy guys, i now sum of yall play dat criminal case gaem
so i wants ur helps.
der is a killing near my place. N cops cant identity the criminal.
dey say he die due to pneumonia because i know he dont.

so all of you who play criminal case game on fb, i kneed halp, tag those ppl who play tat game in comments so i contact tem and can know who kill is. please its matter of live and death

#IfuM

 (c) Copyright IfuM 2013

eyy guys - meaning of greater than three, heart

eyy guys, m back.
i wnted to knw meanings of less than 3

ppl on whatsupp be commentng like 'hi how are you less than 3'
then they say gudbye and say again less than thre

i wanting to know this means? ez this sum kind of algorithm or calculus? me dnt know you halps.

#IfuM
i luv u gais :heart:
i wish there was symbol 4 heart it will maek my lyf easy.

 (c) Copyright IfuM 2013

 

 

I am a superhero !

The idea for the picture is not original, however we loved posing for this picture. Atleast took 7-8 takes before we perfected the pic.
I have added light radial blur and sand effect on it.

How to give epic captions on images (for humor pages)

Look at the picture. Read the caption. Take inspiration.

This blog was written a long time back, I never found time to finish it.

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Advanced sarcasm works best at times

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Add crazy things about best friends people love it!

 __________________________________________ __________________________________________

Keep your captions as awesome as the image.

 __________________________________________ __________________________________________

Always remember, every dog has his day, sometimes you may have to portray yourself as a dog.

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Always keep captions that hit directly on the subject or purpose of the picture.

 __________________________________________ __________________________________________

Disgusting jokes may work wonders sometimes.

 __________________________________________ __________________________________________

People may complain about the picture and not get the humor but there are people who love pics like these. Caution: Dont be too offensive.

 __________________________________________ __________________________________________

Make your own jokes!

 __________________________________________ __________________________________________

Always target jokes on ex or your boss someone who people hate already.

 __________________________________________ __________________________________________

Sometimes put yourself as the target.

 __________________________________________ __________________________________________

Be epic, be original.

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Sometimes you just need a simple pic, but your caption matters the most.

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Hope you liked this post. If you didn't get any inspiration then I just wasted a few minutes of you life. :D

my awesome funny chess picture

This is kind of a funny picture which was shot using a DSLR camera, some metal hair clips and chess pieces. Actually if you look closely you can see the metal hair clips. Had to ruin my hairstyle though. :]